| Delivery by pick-up truck: July 4 | | | | worse!Chanting resumes but this time it is |
| | | | very brief, no more than five minutes. The |
| 7.30am and I am waiting outside my building | | | | monks collect their goodies, climb into the |
| with my car and driver. No Neung and no Khun | | | | pickup truck and off they go. Formalities are |
| Ying, her sister. Oh well, it's Thailand so I | | | | over with. Neung's mother is now at |
| guess I just have to wait. I get an sms and | | | | peace.Lunch begins for all the guests. We |
| it seems the taxi they called could not find | | | | split into two groups. I sit with Neung, Khun |
| their place so they are going to be very | | | | Ying and seven other ladies. Most are in |
| late. Mai pen rai.8.15am Neung and Ying | | | | their 50s and 60s and I am an object of |
| arrive carrying 6 large bags of cat food. | | | | fascination. They see me struggling with the |
| Hmmm, this is looking interesting. Not quite | | | | sitting postures and so, to a lot of |
| sure how this one gets explained. We set out | | | | laughing, a stool appears and I am told to |
| for Rangsit. Neung explains about the cat | | | | sit. My cheeks are red but the pain is gone |
| food. Her mother had four cats. The neighbor | | | | so it's a good tradeoff. Then the real |
| has been feeding them but ran out of food 4 | | | | challenge begins. Am I going to eat the food? |
| days ago, so the cats have not eaten. Ok, | | | | Luckily I like Thai food at least as much as |
| that explains the cat food well enough!9.15am | | | | kon Thai so the food is no problem for me. |
| we arrive at the house in Rangsit and go see | | | | They even begin to realise that I speak quite |
| the neighbors. Cats arrive, fast! We give | | | | decent Thai.Everything is going well until we |
| them some food and then they are joined by | | | | come to the durian mixed with sticky rice and |
| the neighbor's dog, who seems to eat cat food | | | | coconut milk. Durian is actually ok to eat |
| as willingly as she eats dog food. Well, it's | | | | but this one is not ripe enough. Sticky rice |
| Thailand!We are going to do tambuun at the | | | | is not something I enjoy. The mixture all |
| house. Neung explains that sometimes people | | | | together? Well I manage not to throw up but |
| do it at the temple but it is considered | | | | only just and, of course, the whole group |
| "luckier" to do it at the person's house. | | | | finds this very entertaining, myself just |
| Something to do with releasing the spirit. I | | | | about included. These are all good people. |
| don't pretend to understand but no problem. I | | | | They are having fun. They are being very |
| ask when the monks will arrive. Around 11am I | | | | welcoming to me. It has been a good day so |
| am told which, obviously, means 11.30am. | | | | far.The food is cleared away and we all start |
| everyone is always late here. All the monk's | | | | to clear up. Neung pays for the food which |
| gifts have been prepared. Money in envelopes, | | | | means, necessarily that I pay for the food. |
| flowers and the usual bucket of goodies - | | | | There's a lot of celebrating and five minutes |
| washing powder, toothpaste and so on.10.30am | | | | later what seems like a million bottles of |
| and the monks arrive. What's going on here? | | | | beer arrive. Seems I gave a good tip too! So |
| No one in Thailand is ever early. We'll get | | | | now everyone really loves us.It's time to go, |
| back to this shortly, but it turns out to be | | | | time to perform many wais, to say goodbye and |
| about food. The monks arrived, all nine of | | | | to drive home. Neung is leaving for Amsterdam |
| them, in the back of a pickup truck. Dressed | | | | tonight to spend 10 days with her gay Thai |
| in their orange robes it is a somewhat | | | | friend and his Dutch boyfriend. She tries to |
| surreal scene. The strangest pickup delivery | | | | insist that she won't be spending the entire |
| I have ever seen! We now have nine monks | | | | 10 days finding a new boyfriend but doesn't |
| seated on the floor of the house, with about | | | | sound too credible. Mai pen rai, this is not |
| 25 guests seated all over the place. The | | | | my problem anymore. If she is happy then I am |
| rituals begin with an offering of water to | | | | happy too. She may be my ex but she is still |
| the monks. The candles are lit, the string is | | | | my friend and she has had a tough few |
| unwound, we all settle down and the chanting | | | | months.The first Thai funeral I attended was |
| begins.I can't be sure but it seemed to me | | | | for Neung's mother and it is for her also |
| that the chanting was much the same as at the | | | | that I have made my first tambuun. It has |
| funeral ceremonies. It's quite interesting to | | | | been another fascinating experience. The Thai |
| watch and listen. It is melodic without being | | | | people manage death with a lot of grace, |
| musical and mildly hypnotic. Hypnosis would | | | | humor, tact and respect. That's an odd mix of |
| have been useful because I was in agony from | | | | words perhaps but it's an appropriate mix. I |
| sitting with crossed legs. My knees are shot | | | | like the way they do this and I like to think |
| from too much running at the gym and I find | | | | that Neung's mother would have been pleased |
| these very basic sitting postures almost | | | | with what she saw today. I don't pretend to |
| impossible to manage. So, for me, the | | | | understand Buddhism or Thai culture, but what |
| chanting is an exercise in pain and the | | | | I do see I like very much.As for Neung it has |
| constant thought running through my mind of | | | | been a difficult time. Her mother was her |
| "how much longer"?A couple of dogs wander in | | | | only family. Her father did not turn up today |
| and out as we sit and a little 2 year old | | | | and has apparently been asking her for money. |
| girls comes to join us, holding her hands up | | | | Her stepfather, aged 75, has been trying to |
| in the praying position. It's a very cute | | | | transfer his affections for her mother to |
| scene. She gets bored quickly, as 2 year olds | | | | Neung herself.She has been unhappy and she |
| do, and decides to examine and take apart the | | | | has cried alone a lot. I have not been able |
| padlock to the garden gate. Then she decides | | | | to spend much time with her. Today she seems |
| to try everyone else's shoes, flip flops, | | | | happier than I have seen her in a long time. |
| high heels, they are all of equal interest. I | | | | In part it's because she is going to |
| find my eyes wandering much more to her than | | | | Amsterdam but I think it is more than that. |
| the business at hand.The chanting ceases and | | | | She has finally learned to say goodbye to her |
| now I learn why the monks arrived early. We | | | | mother.Thailand is sometimes truly a crazy |
| are their lunch. I am told that the monks eat | | | | place. Crazy but wonderful and so very much |
| twice a day, breakfast and lunch and that | | | | alive, even in death. I am privileged to be |
| they may not eat after midday. They turned up | | | | here.The end. Original article available at |
| early to be sure that they could get lunch. | | | | from England, Adam Bryan-Brown has lived in |
| Well that makes perfect sense to me. After | | | | Bangkok for one year having spent many years |
| all, this country more than most, marches on | | | | working in businesses in the United Sates and |
| its stomach. Lunch is a feast. A mass of | | | | Switzerland. After graduating from Oxford |
| different foods. They eat, we wait. Everyone | | | | University, Adam spent 20 years working in |
| seems happy and there is a lot of laughing | | | | public relations.At the beginning of 2005 |
| from everyone.I am, of course, the only | | | | Adam set up his first independent company, |
| farang and the object of some attention. Many | | | | 2nd AB Associates, a virtual public relations |
| are asking Neung if I am her boyfriend. She | | | | agency. artThailand was created in January |
| says no, just a friend and that I am gay. | | | | 2006 and is his second independent venture. |
| Hmmm, ok. Now where did that come from? Neung | | | | The company is committed to promoting Thai |
| explains. If I say u are my friend (puan) | | | | contemporary art across the world.He is also |
| they will wonder why u are here so I called u | | | | a published writer and is currently working |
| my gay friend. Hmm, ok. Why not say I am ur | | | | on a book about his life in Thailand. His |
| ex boyfriend. No way she says. If I say that | | | | main interests are contemporary art and |
| I lose face. So the price of not losing face | | | | writing. |
| is that I am now gay. Life could be | | | | |