| Good communication is as stimulating as black coffee | | | | rated on a scale from very well understood to |
| and just as hard to sleep after. | | | | completely misunderstood. And anyone who says "I |
| Anne Morrow Lindbergh, 'Gift from the Sea'The word | | | | understand perfectly" is probably deceiving |
| communicate comes from the latin communis or | | | | themselves.G. FeedbackFeedback in our model are |
| common. We speak of a common room that | | | | the reactions of the receiver that are being |
| everyone shares or a university commons where | | | | communicated back to the sender. Feedback causes |
| everyone shares the space. It indicates that two | | | | the sender to modify his message to increase the |
| people or two groups have something shared in | | | | chances of its being understood by the receiver. Each |
| common but in our world today I maintain that there is | | | | of us has experienced the feeling "they don't have a |
| nothing common about communication. Many of the | | | | clue about what I'm trying to say". How did we reach |
| world's problems and disputes can be traced to poor | | | | this conclusion? By interpreting the feedback the |
| communication.The dictionary defines communication | | | | receiver is generating. This feedback can be verbal or |
| as the transmission of information, thought or feeling so | | | | nonverbal.H. Communication blocked by noiseThe |
| that it is satisfactorily received or understood. As a | | | | factor of "noise" may occur anywhere along the |
| working definition we'll consider that communication has | | | | communication line, and it may be physical, physiological, |
| been successful if there is shared understanding | | | | or psychological in nature. |
| between those trying to communicate.So what is the | | | | William Brooks |
| result of shared understanding? What are the | | | | "Speech Communication"When using radio to |
| implications of a lack of shared understanding? Does | | | | communicate, the static sometimes is so strong that |
| shared understanding guarantee acceptance, | | | | the message is lost. Communication theorists call this |
| openness and trust between people and groups?I | | | | kind of interruption during communication "noise". For |
| maintain that while good communication doesn't | | | | our purposes noise is any part of the communication |
| guarantee our lives will be enhanced, poor | | | | process that diminishes shared understanding. Noise |
| communication will make bad situations worse and | | | | can be found in any part of our model. The sender |
| make it difficult to have and maintain open, useful | | | | can have poor communication skills. The receiver may |
| relationships in life.The outcome, then, of successful | | | | be unable to receive the message for a variety of |
| communication should be to increase understanding | | | | reasons. The channels they use to communicate may |
| and thereby improve relationships - and who doesn't | | | | be inappropriate for the situation. Feedback may be |
| need improved relationships?Families, co-workers, | | | | misinterpreted or ignored.As we continue we will |
| governments all need better communication. So let's | | | | examine noise factors that decrease shared |
| examine what happens when we communicate, | | | | understanding and ways of eliminating or reducing the |
| where the problems lie, and what we can each do to | | | | noise so that communication has a better chance.II. |
| improve our communication skills.I. The pieces of the | | | | Temperament and CommunicationTemperament |
| communication processCommunication is a two-way | | | | comes from the Latin tem perave, which means to |
| street, and people tend to structure their phrases along | | | | mix. It relates to the fact that we are each a unique |
| well-traveled linguistic routes to optimize thier chances | | | | mixture of personality traits - background, intelligence, |
| of being understood. --Christopher Manning, | | | | feelings, education, culture and on and on. It seems |
| Stanford UniversityCommunication is a process; that | | | | obvious but your temperament impacts your |
| is, it has definable steps that can be examined. We will | | | | communication style.A. What is |
| look at communicating as a cycle going round and | | | | temperament?Temperament can also be called |
| round unendingly. Remember, however, that examining | | | | personality type and incorporates self-image or |
| the communication process is like putting your VCR on | | | | self-esteem. |
| pause; you look at a frozen snapshot of a dynamic, | | | | We'll talk more about self-image later but now we'll |
| unending process. It's often been said that one cannot | | | | focus on our "natural" temperament or personality that |
| not communicate unless you're dead or unconscious; | | | | we inherit along with our eye color and body type. The |
| communication takes place - for bad or for good - | | | | ancients thought that temperament was caused by |
| when we're trying and when we're not.A. SenderThe | | | | the mixture of certain bodily fluids called humours.B. |
| sender has something he wants to share with | | | | The four typesWhy four? Why not 104? Over the |
| someone else. In our simplified model, the sender is the | | | | centuries, through observation and study, it has been |
| person communicating. Unfortunately the sender's | | | | determined that each of us is a blend of four distinct |
| information is in his mind. While much work has been | | | | personality types - and more specifically we are |
| done on trying to prove ESP, for most of us we've | | | | usually a blend of two of the four types. Who wrote |
| got to get the information we want to share out of our | | | | this rule? How do we know it's true? Again the |
| mind and into the other person's mind by other | | | | evidence is mostly empirical or by experience though |
| means.B. ReceiverThe receiver is just that - the other | | | | the underlying concepts come from the work of Carl |
| person or persons that the sender is trying to | | | | Jung.For our purposes, we'll use the ancient Greek |
| communicate with. What we'll find is that the receiver | | | | nomenclature for temperament types - Choleric, |
| has some obstacles in the way that will affect | | | | Phlegmatic, Sanguine, and Melancholy. These are |
| whether shared understanding is achieved or not. | | | | certainly only one way of discussing the four - other |
| While the sender has the responsibility to craft a clear | | | | models use the names of animals, the acronym DiSC, |
| message, the receiver has additional responsibilities of | | | | and the most famous - the Meyers-Briggs naming |
| hearing, listening, and providing feedback.C. A | | | | system.Temperament strongly affects communication |
| messageThe message is not just some words. The | | | | style. But so does our cultural background, so does our |
| message is a rich combination of thoughts, feelings, | | | | educational experience. The point is that temperament |
| words, and meanings. Even a sender that says, "it's | | | | is only one part of our communication style.The |
| simple", doesn't realize the blended nature of the | | | | choleric type is sometimes called the Driver. A choleric |
| message they want to convey. Many communication | | | | person is goal-oriented, no-nonsense, hard-nosed |
| problems stem from the idea that communication is | | | | person. They are extraverted, strong willed persons. |
| simple.D. Some ways of generating a signalSpeak | | | | You can spot a choleric by their impatient, |
| clearly, if you speak at all; carve every word | | | | action-oriented style.As regards communicating, the |
| before you let it fall. | | | | choleric gets straight to the point and is not much |
| Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr. (1809 - 1894)The signal we | | | | concerned with the feelings of others. They say what |
| are speaking of is how we encode the message in | | | | they mean and it can often be pointed and critical.The |
| our heads and broadcast it to the receiver. We'll find | | | | sanguine temperament is an outgoing, warm, people |
| that this includes more than the sounds of words; it | | | | person. They are talkers and are concerned with the |
| can include feelings, attitudes, and our unique | | | | feelings of others. They are best when meeting and |
| personality. If you think about this, all communication is | | | | greeting others. They are extraverted, warm, and |
| indirect in that we use the tools of language and | | | | enthusiastic.The sanguine is loath to hurt others' |
| nonverbal communication to attempt to share what | | | | feelings and will avoid conflict at almost any price. Their |
| we are experiencing inside ourselves.E. A brain | | | | communication style is outgoing and talkative. They will |
| I would while away the hours, | | | | often touch the person they are talking to.The |
| Conversin' with the flowers . . . | | | | melancholy is highly organized, detailed, and critical. You |
| If I only had a brain. -- | | | | can spot a melancholy by their organized desktop or |
| The Scarecrow in the Wizard of OZOur brains are | | | | workspace. They are introverted and often moody. |
| rich, complicated places. All communication is filtered | | | | They dislike their anyone moving their "stuff".As a |
| through our personality, our background, our upbringing, | | | | communicator, the melancholy will be precise, detailed |
| our culture, and our current state of being. When you | | | | and critical. They often feel they are "right" because |
| are tired or stressed or in circumstances that are | | | | they have taken the time to carefully analyze |
| unpleasant, communication becomes that much | | | | whatever subject they are talking about.The |
| harder.F. Shared understandingSpeak properly, and in | | | | phlegmatic is the quietest of the four types. While |
| as few words as you can, but always plainly; | | | | generally calm on the surface they are the most likely |
| for the end of speech is not ostentation but to be | | | | to be anxious internally when communicating.Again I |
| understood. | | | | want to emphasize that no one is purely one |
| William PennWe return to our definition. The degree to | | | | temperament type. Another presentation I do on |
| which someone understands what we are trying to | | | | understanding temperament goes into much more |
| communicate will depend on many factors. How much | | | | detail on the 16 combinations of personality |
| alike are we? Do we share any background | | | | traits.Everything that irritates us about others |
| experiences? Are our language skills, attitudes, beliefs | | | | can lead us to an understanding of ourselves. |
| similar or dissimilar? What assumptions have we made | | | | Carl Jung (1857-1961)In a nutshell, personality affects |
| about each other based on stereotypes?It's probably | | | | communication because each style has a different |
| fair to say that the degree of understanding could be | | | | primary way of communicating. |